Time - As In Timeline
Time
Damn, we’re so busy. Will we ever have enough time? Many would say no, but I think it’s possible. However, It’s not the amount of time available that needs to change for there to be enough of it; What needs to change is our perspective so we can evolve our relationship with time.
Most of us know the feeling of wanting something. But we don’t just want it, we want it; yesterday. In this beautiful world, we live in, there are a million possibilities and opportunities and we want to experience all of them. However, what happens is that we are so busy craving all of these experiences or fancy items, that we don’t fully appreciate them when they’re here. By the time we get it, we already have our eye on the next thing and are maybe even beating ourselves up over the fact this next thing isn’t here already. It’s a repetitive cycle and a spiral that has us living in a constant state of unfulfillment and stress to keep moving.
The modern life
One of the downfalls of living in a time and place of the world that’s drenched in abundance is that we never get to a place of feeling content. Rather than life being a matter of simply taking care of our basic needs and us feeling grateful that we have enough to live, there’s always a new place to go, instead of being where we are with what we have while feeling happy for it. Somewhere else is a place of more freedom, more peace, a new car, a new job… The list is endless as we imagine the extraordinary destination called the future. So we live lives of ‘go go go’ to get there, which puts us under so much pressure, but it also robs us of the joy of enjoying the place in life we’re in at the time.
I believe that comparison, the strive for external validation, and a disconnection from our true nature are some of the major reasons we live this way. Because we don’t have the feeling of being intrinsically worthy or knowing what our heart truly desires, we’re forced to compete and measure ourselves against others. We believe we must earn our right to be here or prove our worthiness or we’re just a little lost and go chasing happiness in the things we’ve been taught to desire. Then, when we compare, we’re not just beating ourselves up or putting pressure on top of ourselves; we end up enforcing the feeling of discontentment and being unworthy as there will always be other people who ‘have more’ than us.
Comparison causes suffering on so many levels, and in doing it usually, we also fail to take into account that other people have different experiences or advantages. If a person is older, for instance, they’ve had more time to get their things together. Or maybe someone had parents that helped them early on, or there might be a different reason a person has something or lives a life we don’t. Perhaps this other person also made some sacrifices we didn’t want to make. Time isn’t the issue, our strive towards or the belief that we should be somewhere different is.
The circle of life
In my experience, a thing that causes us to keep running is that we’ve lost touch with the fact that we shouldn’t have it all figured out by the time we’re 20 or 30. We can pressure ourselves all we want, but in reality, life unfolds over time: A child needs to grow up, education needs to evolve our minds, healing needs to occur through continuous nurture, and companies need to be built from the coming together of bricks, relationships can only flourish based on the depths of its roots; all of this happens over time. Why do we think when we get an idea that it should be manifested the moment we have the thought? It’s one thing to have a vision; manifesting it is a journey. If we learn to enjoy this journey - we will stop feeling so much pressure from ourselves and rather enjoy the unfolding of life with peace.
Another thing that keeps us stressed is that we’re out of touch with what truly matters to us. By the end of it, was it really that third designer bag, you worked so hard to get that mattered? Or was it the time you spent caring for your mom when she got sick? We’ve lost touch with our priorities, so we run around like headless chickens feeling like there isn’t enough time, when if fact, there’s plenty of it. We just forgot what life’s about and what’s really important. The road to contentment and happiness isn’t covered in fancy items or titles; it’s covered in moments that fill up our hearts. We’ve forgotten that it’s the everyday moments that are life.
Joy through presence
I bet you, that if you have kids; you’ll rush through your busy mornings with them, looking forward to when it all gets less hectic. But I also bet that when you sit on the other side of this time when your kids are all grown up, you’d wish you’d been more present and had enjoyed those chaotic mornings more. The same is the case if we’re in love and all we want is for the relationship to be stable, instead of enjoying the excitement and tingles that comes from the uncertainty when getting to know the person. The same applies to the life we lead in a tiny apartment before we have the means to move into a big house - oh the joy of life even when we have less!
Life is now. We need to stop being so busy because we’re rushing through it as if it should have already been lived and we should be on to the next thing. Stop, breathe, and enjoy the chaos of now (along with the dreamy desires you have ..Because they’re desires; they can’t have any flaws). Perfection only exists in the future and in fantasy. Life, in reality, is chaotic, messy, and imperfect. This is the beauty of it.
And one final thing: if we remember, to ask ourselves from time to time; ‘What do I get to do today?’ instead of thinking ‘what do I have to do today?’ our perspective tends to get a new light. One that can even glorify the imperfections of the present moment.
Much love,
Mai
